Post-Vacation Resolutions

Back from a week Up North. As usual the trouble with the joy of getting away from it all, is the realization that despite abundant free time on my hands, I'm unable to productively accomplish anything because "it all" is back home. Instead, I must sit around in sweltering humidity, gritty with sand, occupied with bad reading choices, since I decided to try to clean house before we left and ran out of time to stop to the library (e-reader is rendered obsolete aka, bricked by B&N--still saving that rant for another day.)

The usual result is that I spend a boatload of time gazing at the lake and thinking up ways to make everyone's life miserable.

Not really. I mean, actually, I'm thinking up ways to make my life absolutely perfect. Like how I'm going to get off sugar and feel full of energy and super-thin, but lose weight slowly and sensibly so I don't become a wrinkled old hag. I'm going to do at least an hour of cardio daily, some of which will be while cleaning the house, and will also take the dog on long walks, and get tons of inspiration for writing. I mean if Dickens had time to walk 3 hours a day, then surely I can houseclean, walk dog and still write this generation's classic literature. (Note, excess time on hands on vacation leads me to Dickens trivia, but does not lead me to time to crack open the creaking laptop and compose my own brilliance.)

Also, I am going to do crafts, and create beautiful quilts and crocheted things with fabric from my old tattered clothes and my burgeoning collection of grocery store plastic bags. The very first thing I'll make is a reusable shopping bag, and I will never forget to take this one into the store. Probably because the no-sugar diet and extra walking will improve my mental function.

I will also connect better with my children so next time we sit around a campfire and try to talk about hopes and dreams and feelings, it won't all be about farts. We will be better disciplined about screen time, and they will do housekeeping and crafts with me instead of binge-watching every single episode of We Bare Bears. As a result of this, on Monday back from vacation, I abandon the heaps of waiting laundry and take the kids to see a movie, Christopher Robin. (Please don't ask me to explain my logic.)

The movie was funny and sweet, and the 11 year old liked it. (Thirteen was unimpressed). Unfortunately it's one of those well-used plots, where the parent(s) is all busy and stressed out and have forgotten how to connect with their childhood and What's Truly Important. This does not coincide well with my plan of reining in my undisciplined children.

Return home with "please just one or two things" from Target, including Laundry Detergent and Milk (needed). End of Vacation is not sitting well with the other family member who is home from work and hungry and Wondering where we all are.

Very well. We all yell a bit, get dinner made of Corn on the Cob and Hot Dogs (left over from Vacation) and I make kids clean the kitchen with me until someone cries at my efforts to explain how to wash a dish, rather than merely giving it a gentle tickle with a dish brush.

I write this blog post to prove that I can do it, even without my three hours of walking/housework/cardio.