Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Random Rants

I haven't posted in a while, because every time I start to write, I go off on a mega-rant. So instead of subjecting any unsuspecting readers with page-long diatribes, I'll just give you the highlights.

1. Toys. Whoever invented all this crap should be shot. Also, if I had these cool toys as a child, I'd be keeping all their damn pieces together in a set like they should be. Don't you kids have any appreciation for the beauty of a Complete Set? And I cannot believe you broke the Mousetrap game in two places after only two days. Do you KNOW how long I've been waiting for that game?

2. Appliances. Seriously, Kenmore and GE you guys suck. I think of how much you guys suck every time I open my refrigerator or use my stinking washing maching. Hoover you are on my shit-list too, but less so, because you are supposed to suck, and you actually did a good job at it for 5 years, which is more than I can say for Mr. Kenmore and Mr. GE. I would LOVE a new vacuum cleaner, but I'm paranoid now about buying any top-of-the line household appliance.

3. Whining. How about I throw away all your damn toys? Ungrateful little. . .

4. Paper. WTF is all this stuff? And why is it so hard for me to throw it all out?

5. TV. Why don't they make any shows any more that are GOOD and yet don't require me to invest 3 seasons of watching, in order to follow the story? And The Office, calling you out on watering down the funny and expecting me to go to your .com to get "more".

6. Bullying. You know what, no one gave a shit when it happened to me, and even if they had, they couldn't have helped more than me figuring it out on my own. But let's just pretend that bullying causes suicide, so we can continue to ignore the deplorable state of mental health care in this country, which so-called "health care reform" is nowhere close to resolving. Also, let's point and laugh at celebrities with obvious mental illness, unless they die of their "self-medicating." Because it's okay to insult people if they are on TV. Just don't call them names at school. Get the difference?

7. Messes. Your mother doesn't work here.

8. Writing. If I let people read it, then they might think. . . .


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