There’s a lot of controversy out there about the correct way to offer holiday greetings in our multi-cultural society. Although I’m not one for political correctness, I do have strong opinions about the slow but steady encroaching of holiday greetings in our society, and so on behalf of all who are fed up with excessive obligatory phrases, I present:
Guidelines for Greetings
“Happy New Year!” Appropriate for New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day only. After that, shut up about it. Other cultural New Years greetings, (Jewish, Chinese, Tibetan, whatever), should be exchanged on the appropriate day, by people who celebrate that tradition and their close friends.
“Happy Valentines Day” This greeting should be exchanged between loved ones on Valentines’ Day only. Also appropriate for elementary school Valentines parties and card exchanges. Should not be used among random strangers, except as an invitation for a one night stand.
“Happy St. Patricks’ Day.” On March 17th only. Must be either a.) Irish b.) Wearing Green or c.) Drunk.
“Happy Easter.” Should be used in conjunction with the actual celebration of Easter either at a place of worship or among friends and family. Exception: if you are wearing an Easter Bunny costume.
“Happy Memorial Day” Seriously? Don’t say it. Remember your loved ones, appreciate your family, grill some meat.
“Happy Fourth of July” Can be said on July 4th. Preferably while waving a flag or watching fireworks.
“Happy Labor Day” Come on people, just shut up. We are in denial that summer is over. Besides this just sounds like you’re creepily encouraging a birth.
“Happy Halloween” this should be said to or by trick-or-treaters. On Halloween. Please do not wish me a Happy Halloween the entire month of October. It’s just weird, and pretty much convinces me you’re trying to sell extra Halloween crap.
“Happy Thanksgiving” Say it on Thanksgiving. Or the day before. If you must.
“Merry Christmas” can be said up to one week before or 3 days after Christmas. Best used among those actually celebrating, but can be given as a standard greeting, in place of other meaningless conventional phrases, like “How are you?” and “Have a nice day.” If you choose to take offense when someone wishes you Merry Christmas, you must also ask probing follow-up questions every time someone says they’re “Fine, thank you.”
“Happy Holidays” is a perfectly acceptable generic greeting that can be used from about a week before Thanksgiving, until the day after New Year’s Day. Those offended by this should feel free to NOT have a nice day.
All other religious, cultural or personal holidays can be wished on the appropriate day to and by those celebrating. Happy Birthday to you. You’re welcome.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Sunday, December 4, 2011
These are a Few of My Favorite Things
Irish Moss. The only thing that looks good in the garden right now. Reminds me of fields of winter wheat. I love seeing the bright green surprise in the dreary winter landscape.
Christmas Music. Barenaked for the Holidays, by the Barenaked Ladies (of course) my all time favorite.
Commercialism. I’m probably the only person who doesn’t bemoan the commercialization of Christmas. But the idea that there’s one time of year to focus on generosity and acquisition is just so. . .efficient. I love it that the stores are jam-packed with people and products and decorations and music. Even the 12 years I worked in retail, I loved it.
Cookies. And other holiday baking traditions. But especially creatively decorated cut-out sugar cookies.
Cinnamon. Scented candles, sprinkled on oatmeal, and Big Red gum, which I chew while baking so I don’t eat too much cookie dough.
Christmas Music. Barenaked for the Holidays, by the Barenaked Ladies (of course) my all time favorite.
Commercialism. I’m probably the only person who doesn’t bemoan the commercialization of Christmas. But the idea that there’s one time of year to focus on generosity and acquisition is just so. . .efficient. I love it that the stores are jam-packed with people and products and decorations and music. Even the 12 years I worked in retail, I loved it.
Cookies. And other holiday baking traditions. But especially creatively decorated cut-out sugar cookies.
Cinnamon. Scented candles, sprinkled on oatmeal, and Big Red gum, which I chew while baking so I don’t eat too much cookie dough.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Open Mike
21 days into Novemeber, and I'm woefully behind on my goal of finishing my book by the end of the month. I've managed to crank out 21,000+ words and 10 chapters, but I still haven't made it to the end.
I figure if I write a chapter a day for the next 10 day, I might make it. But that's a big might, because I've just reached another one of those awful bogged down and discouraged places, where I'm pretty sure my book sucks. Where I feel like every single book I happen to pick up, or hear about, or suddenly remember from freshman year of high school English class, has already done what I'm doing, or at least part of it.
I keep thinking of that Bare Naked Ladies song, "It's All Been Done." It's not like I've stumbled across another story exactly like mine. But whenever I come across similar elements or themes, I start to panic. Heck, I'll be honest, I start to panic if I come across a story that has a character with the same name as one of mine.
Then I start to worry that my story is too over the top, my writing is too wordy (yes it is, but I'm working on it) and that this is bound to suck.
But you know what, I'm not giving up. I happen to love this story, and I love my characters. They've been growing a lot over the past 6 months, and I want to see what happens with them.
The first novel I attempted to write will never be seen by another human in my lifetime. But this one, I'm putting out there. I will finish it, revise it, query it and receive a bunch of rejections. I'll show it to friends and fellow writers for input and I'll cringe as they point out obvious flaws, or give me a half-hearted compliment.
But I'm working on the theory that everyone has to start somewhere. It's taken this long for me to just start. But I'm doing it. I'm getting up there on stage with this thing, ready to take the boos. Hoping someone will sing along. Or to eventually get a hit.
I figure if I write a chapter a day for the next 10 day, I might make it. But that's a big might, because I've just reached another one of those awful bogged down and discouraged places, where I'm pretty sure my book sucks. Where I feel like every single book I happen to pick up, or hear about, or suddenly remember from freshman year of high school English class, has already done what I'm doing, or at least part of it.
I keep thinking of that Bare Naked Ladies song, "It's All Been Done." It's not like I've stumbled across another story exactly like mine. But whenever I come across similar elements or themes, I start to panic. Heck, I'll be honest, I start to panic if I come across a story that has a character with the same name as one of mine.
Then I start to worry that my story is too over the top, my writing is too wordy (yes it is, but I'm working on it) and that this is bound to suck.
But you know what, I'm not giving up. I happen to love this story, and I love my characters. They've been growing a lot over the past 6 months, and I want to see what happens with them.
The first novel I attempted to write will never be seen by another human in my lifetime. But this one, I'm putting out there. I will finish it, revise it, query it and receive a bunch of rejections. I'll show it to friends and fellow writers for input and I'll cringe as they point out obvious flaws, or give me a half-hearted compliment.
But I'm working on the theory that everyone has to start somewhere. It's taken this long for me to just start. But I'm doing it. I'm getting up there on stage with this thing, ready to take the boos. Hoping someone will sing along. Or to eventually get a hit.
Monday, October 31, 2011
It's November Again. . .
This is my obligatory NaNoWriMo post. Thanks to a friend with a GREAT suggestion, I'm not actually doing NaNoWriMo. No offense to those who are diligently preparing to crank out their 50,000 words, but what I've come to realize is that as a writer, I'm already too wordy. I don't need any further incentive to pad my word count.
So thanks to my friend and fellow writer, Vicky G. who is also halfway through writing a book, I'll be doing FiNoWriMo, with the goal of actually finishing the first draft of my WIP by the end of November. This is just about as daunting, but more likely to help me focus and not go off on lengthy tangents that I end up cutting three days later.
Oh yeah, also, November is the month when I'll be doing all my tax classes, and skills classes, and maybe a certification exam too. Should be a piece of cake.
So thanks to my friend and fellow writer, Vicky G. who is also halfway through writing a book, I'll be doing FiNoWriMo, with the goal of actually finishing the first draft of my WIP by the end of November. This is just about as daunting, but more likely to help me focus and not go off on lengthy tangents that I end up cutting three days later.
Oh yeah, also, November is the month when I'll be doing all my tax classes, and skills classes, and maybe a certification exam too. Should be a piece of cake.
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