The End

This has not been a good year for blogging. What's that? You missed me? You didn't notice? You only ended up here because you searched "child eats glue stick" or "Tell Me All Your Thoughts On God Song Meaning?" (Note how I cleverly promote the two most popular search entries leading to my blog. Not sure what I expect to accomplish with this cleverness, since this blog is not about glue sticks or late 90's music.)

But never fear friends, I'm still wasting time. I've spent the last 5 months revising my book, and after countless hours and documents, and even an editing class, I've come to the conclusion that I've come to the conclusion. I'm not exactly sure how a writer is supposed to know when their book is done. But for me, it's done when it's as good as I can make it. And so, for now, I'm done.

That's not to say my book is perfect and there's no room to improve. I'm just saying that at this point in time, I've taken it as far as whatever talent I posess permits. I'm entering the Pitch Wars contest in hopes of getting a mentor, because my own brain has been wrung dry on this book. I need a shot of genius from an outside source. And I need to stop reading my book backward and forward, before I have to pull a Taylor Swift and tell it we are never, ever, ever getting back together again.

So before I burn the bridges with Creepy Boy, I'm wishing it well, I'm sending it out into the world of Queries and Contests and other far distant places. Ours will be a long-distance relationship, and an open relationship too. Creepy Boy, feel free to let other minds twirl around your plot, POV and chapter order. And please don't be hurt if I start writing someone else. I know it's sudden. But he caught my eye the other day. . .no one you know. . .his name's Harm. He's in a rock band. His mom's a psycho. Runs in the family.

Don't worry, Creepy, we'll still keep in touch. I promised you another tweak of your final chapters. I'll come through for you on that the first weekend we get together. It'll be bittersweet and we'll both come away agreeing it's for the best.

Not Bored Yet.

Things to do:

1. Assemble all outgrown kids clothes and toys for a Mom to Mom sale. Note to self--presence of spiders is a good indicator of an outgrown toy.
2. Take 10 Pilates classes with the Skinny Housewives of West Bloomfield, in a two week period. Note to self--pay attention to when those Groupons expire.
3. Attend tax classes, and prep for the RTRP exam in November
4. Run a 2.9 relay leg in the Detroit Marathon.
5. Hair appointment.
6. Facial (See note # 2)
7. Finish 2nd draft of book.
8. Write more.
9. Closets, closets, closets.
10. Pictures, pictures, pictures.
11. Send overdue gifts.

And that's not including all the daily Things to Do, and the afterschool activity carousel, and fall TV schedule and 2nd grade math homework.

For the record, so far, the most challenging thing about 2nd grade math is refraining from humming the Jeopardy theme song while my daughter stares into space for 5 minutes.

Did you notice, Blogging is not on the list? Awwww.

First Draft

I just did it. I just finished writing a for-real, all the way to the end, 96,853 words, 36 chapters, first draft of a novel.

I'm beyond excited about this, which is why I'm bragging about it on my blog. I've spent a year on this story, but before that, I spent many many years with many beginnings of stories that I never had the stamina to take all the way to The End.

So tiny little pat on the back for myself, while I'm still feeling it. Oh, heck, great big pat on the back and a rum n coke! I'm sure it won't be long before the doubts come back out to play, but for now, I'm riding the high into revision-land for as long as I can.

The one thing I have going for me is that I love my story. Okay, yeah, I wrote it myself, so I probably should, but at least I know I'm not going to get sick of it.

That's right, my book, the book I wrote myself, is now right up there with all my favorites, some of them favorites for the whole story, like Bridget Jones' Diary, others, favorites for just one or two perfect pages.

I've skimmed my way numerous times to that delicious scene where Percy literally kisses the ground Marguerite walks on. I've taken on "Phantom of the Opera" over and over, for Raoul on the roof with Christine, bitterly trying to accept their "secret engagement," or for that moment when the Phantom speaks his name, or sheds a tear.

I've read "A Tale of Two Cities," cover to cover many times, just for the joy of that moment when Sidney Carton does "a far, far better thing."

I'm looking forward to revising and revisiting all the tender and twisted moments I love and savor in my own book. I just have to make sure I work on all the other parts too.

What books do you love to re-read?

Random Rants

I haven't posted in a while, because every time I start to write, I go off on a mega-rant. So instead of subjecting any unsuspecting readers with page-long diatribes, I'll just give you the highlights.

1. Toys. Whoever invented all this crap should be shot. Also, if I had these cool toys as a child, I'd be keeping all their damn pieces together in a set like they should be. Don't you kids have any appreciation for the beauty of a Complete Set? And I cannot believe you broke the Mousetrap game in two places after only two days. Do you KNOW how long I've been waiting for that game?

2. Appliances. Seriously, Kenmore and GE you guys suck. I think of how much you guys suck every time I open my refrigerator or use my stinking washing maching. Hoover you are on my shit-list too, but less so, because you are supposed to suck, and you actually did a good job at it for 5 years, which is more than I can say for Mr. Kenmore and Mr. GE. I would LOVE a new vacuum cleaner, but I'm paranoid now about buying any top-of-the line household appliance.

3. Whining. How about I throw away all your damn toys? Ungrateful little. . .

4. Paper. WTF is all this stuff? And why is it so hard for me to throw it all out?

5. TV. Why don't they make any shows any more that are GOOD and yet don't require me to invest 3 seasons of watching, in order to follow the story? And The Office, calling you out on watering down the funny and expecting me to go to your .com to get "more".

6. Bullying. You know what, no one gave a shit when it happened to me, and even if they had, they couldn't have helped more than me figuring it out on my own. But let's just pretend that bullying causes suicide, so we can continue to ignore the deplorable state of mental health care in this country, which so-called "health care reform" is nowhere close to resolving. Also, let's point and laugh at celebrities with obvious mental illness, unless they die of their "self-medicating." Because it's okay to insult people if they are on TV. Just don't call them names at school. Get the difference?

7. Messes. Your mother doesn't work here.

8. Writing. If I let people read it, then they might think. . . .